Short Memo #13. My regrets
its too late, im thinking to myself. I put my desires ahead of what truly matters to me. I've realised that only after you lose someone do you begin to see how much they mean to you. I regret, regret being selfish and not taking you seriously. Don't make the same mistake that i've made. I'm sorry.
Short Memo #12. I'm tired.
Everyone, I am very tired. I have been tired for a while but today, I don't know what to do anymore. Tell me what happens when the only thing you've been living for is no longer there? You die. Truthfully I want to die. Swiftly, secretly, gone.
Breathing each day takes too much effort. Happiness is too artificial and loneliness, always. I want to go and never come back, somewhere, in this world or another. Can I? I don't want to cry anymore but I can't help it. You may think I'm being dramatic but this is an inside plea. Help me. I want to be like you. I want to be strong like you. But I'm mentally too weak.
Everyone, I am very tired. I have been tired for a while but today, I don't know what to do anymore. Tell me what happens when the only thing you've been living for is no longer there? You die. Truthfully I want to die. Swiftly, secretly, gone.
Breathing each day takes too much effort. Happiness is too artificial and loneliness, always. I want to go and never come back, somewhere, in this world or another. Can I? I don't want to cry anymore but I can't help it. You may think I'm being dramatic but this is an inside plea. Help me. I want to be like you. I want to be strong like you. But I'm mentally too weak.
Short Memo #11. Hopeful.
Looking out the window, the night sky is blanketed in stars. You sit there thinking. You say to yourself, "I was meant for something more than this". That deep desire, you just want to be a part of something. You don't believe in God, but now clasping your hands, you look into the stars and wish. Seconds pass.. Minutes pass.. waiting for something to happen. You unlock your phone and wait, waiting.. maybe, just maybe there might be a call or even a text.
There's nothing.
The light flickers off, extinguishing your last shred of hope. But that's okay, there's always tomorrow.
There's nothing.
The light flickers off, extinguishing your last shred of hope. But that's okay, there's always tomorrow.
Short Memo #10. Signs of Depression.
Getting up in the morning was no longer a routine, but a chore. The day begins with nothing to look forward to and the best time of day, the time you dream, was already over. Washing your face, eating breakfast, getting ready seem like a repetitive nightmare. The insides of you are tired, and you just want to give up breathing.
No one understands. The world is grey and lonely. The train to work is packed with people but you don't feel anyone. The more sugar you put in, the more bitter the cofee tastes. The news headlines don't surprise you, instead you wonder if you die would you make it in the paper. It starts to rain and you have no umbrella and your hair slaps into your eyes. You start to cry and hope that someone will come and pull you out of your misery.
No one ever came.
Getting up in the morning was no longer a routine, but a chore. The day begins with nothing to look forward to and the best time of day, the time you dream, was already over. Washing your face, eating breakfast, getting ready seem like a repetitive nightmare. The insides of you are tired, and you just want to give up breathing.
No one understands. The world is grey and lonely. The train to work is packed with people but you don't feel anyone. The more sugar you put in, the more bitter the cofee tastes. The news headlines don't surprise you, instead you wonder if you die would you make it in the paper. It starts to rain and you have no umbrella and your hair slaps into your eyes. You start to cry and hope that someone will come and pull you out of your misery.
No one ever came.
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