Short Memo #9. He's not going to call.
You wait eagerly beside your phone. You have called him twice and texted him at least 5 times. You wrestle yourself, trying not to call him again just in case he would call you that moment. You keep yourself busy by making up excuses why he might not be calling yet. You check your phone every few seconds. Hours pass by. Stop waiting, he's not going to call...

Short Memo #8. thoughts on loneliness

Loneliness... It’s a powerful tool and a fearful enemy. It can have an overwhelming effect, causing a deep aching feeling inside. But truly it is something that we all feel, something that exists within all of us.
Have you ever felt isolated, been alone? Have you ever wanted to tell a friend but always too afraid and embarrassed to do so? There is no indignity in sharing such feelings and it is never too healthy keeping the feeling locked away. Like a caged lion, it will claw at the bars, eventually breaking through.
When you tell someone that you’re lonely, what is it that you really want? Being comforted and being reminded that you aren’t alone on this planet? Or maybe you want them to pity you. Words only do so much, “Actions speak louder than words”.
There must be hundreds, thousands, millions of songs, articles, movies exploring this notion. I’m no expert but in the end its what we feel that truly matters.

Short Memo #7. Empty world.
I find it extremely depressing to read abandoned blogs. It's like getting to know someone so well and suddenly realising that they are not there anymore. The internet is know as the 'Cyber World', but what happens when people leave this world? I used to use xanga when I was young. I had a frequent reader, Jin Park, a korean boy from New York whom I befriended. We never saw each other's photos. But I remember running home from school everyday to read his blog or answer his email. I almost loved him. However when I entered highschool, I slowly forgot about him. Today I went to check my old inbox to see an email from him. It broke my heart. "i'll mail you asap after you get this message if you do i hope that is." - March 27, 2006.

Short Memo #6. Please don't ask why...
Why do you always ask why I love you? Is this a trick question? Is there a right or wrong answer? Will I get graded and given marks to how I respond? Truthfully I don't know why I love you. I can't tell you I love you because you have beautiful eyes, great hair or a good personality. Honestly, I have met many people with these qualities and I did not fall in love with them. I love you. So please don't ask why... Because even I can't ask myself why and how I manage to go through life passing so many people, yet stopped in my tracks because of you. How I always saw things so vividly yet was caught blindly in love with you. How perfect and wonderful life was, yet I'd rather sleep forever to dream of you. So please don't ask me why...

Short Memo #5. The boy who cried wolf.
We were together for a year before I suddenly ended our relationship. It felt like the right thing to do at the time, but deep inside I knew I still loved him. I know by doing so didn't prove much, but it proved to other people I could sacrifice the hurt for the good of him. Till this day whether he understands that or not, I don't know. After our relationship ended, we went through a time of confused love. I've got to admit, I was such a fool for not knowing which direction I was heading. Everytime he told me loves me, I brushed off his feelings. And everytime he told me he would not love me anymore, I begged him to love me again. It went on and on till the worries wore off. Soon his threats meant nothing. Recently he told me he doesn't love me anymore and introduced me to his girlfriend. It was hard to force a smile over the whelming tears.

Short Memo #4. What if? Dedicated to my friend Haeli Kim.
Apparantly in this world, everything has a percentage. People tend to say there are a 30% chance of success or a 45% chance of failure. But truthfully, why can't we be an optimist and think that there are a 50% chance yes and a 50% chance no? It's like when you confess to someone... there is a 50% that that person will not return your love. But isn't it better to know and let free these feelings than to question ourselves "What if?" for the rest of our lives? In the end, it's better to have a 50% chance yes than no chance at all.

Short Memo #3. Chain of heartbreak.
I like someone, who likes someone who likes someone else. I'm envious of the two before me, as they have love and being loved. But no matter how wonderful it is for them, this chain is nothing more than a chain of heartbreak. Each one of us go home everynight wishing the person we love would love us. But... what will happen if that does happen?

Short Memo #2. A different type of miss.
When you are gone, I miss not talking to you. When I am talking to you, I miss you being here with me. When you are here with me, I miss you because I fear you won't be here forever. When you are here forever, I'm afraid I'll miss you in my sleep.

제발 떠나지말아주세요..언젠가는 저를 그리워할수도 있지만 저는 당신을 평생 그리워 할꺼에요.

Short Memo #1. For one who is missed.
I miss you, do you know that? Everything in my world reminds me of you. Why is it my world? Because when you left, everything went with you. Everything that has breath, soul, life went with you. Only dead, meaningless reminiscs linger behind to tell me how much you meant to me. The world suddenly became bigger than I've ever imagined. You are amazing you know that? You manage to alter everything in my life. Even time and space. Time goes faster when you are with me. Yet, when you are away, the clock barely ticks. Now since you are gone, the road we used to walk on had become unbearably longer. Was it always this long? Please come back, you might miss me one day. For me, I will miss you a lot of days.